For Dan Saunders. And me.

“Alright, be on the lookout for an Eastern European male with bad teeth who may have access to an ape.” 

My own (and by own, I mean I found it on the Youtube machine) feeble tribute to the greatest thespian of our generation:

“I don’t hate the truth. It’s facts I’m not a fan of.”

This has how far our country’s politicians have fallen. Yes, folks, when pitted against the Republican and Democratic front-runners, a comedian manages to get 13% of the ballot. How pathetic is that? I use the word “pathetic,” and not the word “surprising, ” because it’s eminently obvious that the U.S. federal government (i.e. the federal and legislative branch) have become more of a joke than a late-night news parody could ever be. Awesome.

P.S. In similarly disturbing news, the Fox promo for 24 that just ran during Game 2 of the World Series (Go Sox!) just made it clear that Tony Almeida has not only survived his apparent poisoning, but has come back and turned to the dark side, making him a deadly rival to Jack Bauer. Umm, what? Are you kidding? That’s the most ridiculous plot twist since we learned that Dr. Malcolm Crowe was actually dead. I am officially pissed. Step up your game, Fox – please don’t suck as much as your cousin…

Only you can prevent forest fires…

Fox News has officially jumped the shark.  (Let’s be honest, that happened long ago, and this is merely the latest water skiing moment).  The latest bit of trickeration and misinformation from the most American news network ever (run by an Australian) comes in the form of blaming the California wildfires on al Qaeda. No, really. Let that sink in for a moment. Who knew that Smokey wasn’t actually talking to careless campers and pyromaniac Boy Scouts, biut rather, was addressing members of a fringe terrorist movement. Apparently, Faux News believes those who would seek to destroy us think the best way to defeat America is to force some of the country’s richest, most Conservative citizens from their homes for several days. Brilliant plan, Osama – the next move is yours, Bushie – might I suggest Nd6 Re1+ 34. Kh2 Nxf2 35. Nxf7+ Kg7 36. Ng5+ Kh6 37. Rxh7+ 1-0?

They are full of seamen/semen

Hey folks…excuse the poor submarine joke, but it works for the name of the band showcased within this video (give it a second to load, it’ll be worth the wait):

I know what I’ll be doing next Tuesday…how about you? It may have gotten deliriously campy as of late, but I feel like the cross-country move is going to bring big things to Nip/Tuck, and it will get right back on track. Your thoughts?

R.I.P Milo

Yes, writing an obituary for a television character might be a bit lame, especially since he has not been confirmed dead. Yet, Milo has been around 24 for quite some time, and a few of grew attached to him. Also, I am quite bored, so I will try my hand at a different sort of newspaper writing.

After graduating from UCLA, Milo Pressman started out as a freelance computer nerd in Season 1, and then took off a few seasons. This season (Season 6) Milo served as the the Internet Protocol Manager of the Los Angeles Counter Terrorist Unit. In this season, he spent most of his time behind the computer, but also had a nice debut as a field agent when he saved the life of Marilyn Bauer. In his presumed final act, he attempted to protect Nina, the acting director of CTU (and for that matter, the woman he loved), by standing up and telling the Chinese terrorists who had taken over CTU that he was the acting director of CTU. Shortly after volunteering this information, he was shot in the head at close range. One can only assume that he is deceased. With the deaths of Curtis Manning and Milo, and the firing of Buchanan all happening this season, now there’s only one person left (Chloe) in CTU who is willing to break the rules for Jack…how is going to go against the grain now? No good.

More Ramblings

So today is Patriot’s Day. For those of you who live outside of Massachusetts, its just a way for us to salute our rich military history. Everyone gets school off, and government offices are closed. Three day weekend? Beautiful. And it was a good weekend. The Sox are riding a 5 game winning streak. I didn’t have much work to do. The only bummer was having duty on Friday night. But the weekend got better after that. The weather was ideal all weekend, and I made the most of it.

Saturday was all about getting stuff done and playing basketball. Saturday night became a night full of drinking at a few locations, and good times were had. Sunday brought along a day in the sun. Football was played. Frisbee was played. Wiffleball was played. Burgers were cooked. Drinks were drunk. Chips were eaten. Sun was soaked up. We must have spent a good 5-6 hours out on the hill-it was quite ideal.

Today didn’t bring as much in the way of outdoorsy activities. Everybody had work to do, so it wasnt much of a day. Best Buy was a failure, but at least I have my car back now. 24 got watched tonight. This guy is coming back next week:

Without sounding overly dorky, this leaves me ecstatic. The current president is far too much of a timid pussy(cat). Palmer will bring some serious cold-bloodedness to the show. For those of you who dont care about this and question why it makes the blog…go hide yourself under a rock, because I don’t care. This is the one hour of television I watch each week, (and it is the only hour worth watching), and I will damn well talk about it if I want to.

I’m listening to the new Coldplay single right now: “Speed of Sound.” Same Coldplay, different day. The instrumentals are quite rich, and its an enjoyable song. I’m definitely counting down until the next album.

A Random List:

5 Coolest Alumni of UMass

-Jess Prince
-Matt Pelnar
-Fiona Coxe
-Korri Crowley
-Dan Saunders (when hes not whining)

Personal stuff. Hmm. Not a whole lot to report. I had an interview on Friday with the International Programs Office. This is the job I really want. Really want. I’m supposed to hear one way or the other by the end of the week. So if you see me being carted off in a straight jacket, then you know why. Likewise, if you see me buying everyone at ABC a round, you’ll know whats up. Wish me luck.

Note to frequent blog checkers: You may have noticed that Ive taken down my music video of the week feature. Despite some complaints, its going to stay down for now. It was slowing down the load speed for many readers, and I dont want to have too many extras cluttering up the interface. It will come back at some point, so never fear.

Back to my life and how its somehow relevant. I dont really know. I officially signed the lease to Aspen Ridge next year. So I am locked into UMass, for better or worse. I just hope everything works out the way I want to out here next year. For silly superstitious reasons, I wont voice those hopes just yet. Some of the people involved in them surely know their roles, but others will remain a secret for now. Thats about all for now, the week starts far too soon. Ill talk to you all soon.

Word Vomit!

So it is Wednesday night and I’m bored as anything. Its also the weekend, thanks to a class being cancelled tomorrow. I’m gonna have to get a lot of work done tomorrow, so tonight was hardly a hardy night. Just some fantasy baseball, video games, and now these guys:

The week has been largely uneventful. Its just been going to class, coming home, doing homework, etc. Tomorrow won’t offer much more in the way of excitement. Just errands and homework. I have to get that car inspected too, before the month rolls to April. April. Man, thats crazy. It seemed just yesterday that it was January. This means less than two months left of college before the next step. Speaking of the next step, it is starting to come together. Tom, Dan and I have officially gotten the apartment. Its quite nice. I’ll get some pictures on here once I, you know, get a digital camera and get back in the apartment. Should be around…June. Im still working on the assistantship. Apparently, I have made a good impression on the people of the International Programs Office. This is a good start, but I’m a long way from the finish. Hopefully, I can get that locked down soon so I know that next year will be all set. I’ll be sure to keep you all posted. Time for bed. Catch you all later.

Looking Back at the Big Day(s)

(This is another one of those entries designed to get people off my back about me not writing an entry every day)

So other than the inevitable post-Christmas letdown, there may be no bigger drop from one day to the next than on the day after your birthday. Don’t get me wrong, today didn’t suck. It just can never live up to the big day. So now with the distance and clarity that 24 hours brings, I figured I would look back on the day that was.

Actually, days might be more accurate, since there was a little family get-together in my honor on Saturday before I had to come back to school. My aunt and grandmother joined the fun, and although there were a few mixups, everything got sorted out in the end, and we had a delicious meal enjoyed in great company. Presents were well thought out and very much appreciated, and I owe many a thank you note. If you gave me something, yours is in the mail. If you didn’t give me something, then its all good anyhow. The cake was excellent, and I’ve still got most of it in my room if you all get that crazy craving for sugar. You know where to find me.

So nothing can compare to spending your birthday with your family, but my friends are the best substitute. I had a few beers to start the night shortly after midnight. (I was born at 12:20 AM, after all. As a nod to my recent national holiday, they were food-colored Kelley green. Nice touch. Then a friend came over and we watched “Office Space”, which is just a stunning movie every time you see it.

Ron Livingstone is a sly devil, and I love his subtle mechanisms that create humor. Apparently, Jennifer Aniston used to be pretty hot too, before she decided that eating wasn’t entirely fashionable.

Anyhow, then came sleep. I woke up bright and early, relatively speaking, at the hour of 830. I had to get all clean and spiffy for my grad school assistantship interviews, or, as it turned out, interview. It was with Career Services, and it wasnt too bad, although the fact that I knew nothing about the offic seemed to be a bit upsetting to the interviwer. I walked out, and deciding that in my current get-up, I was well set to make an impression, I walked over to the International Programs Office. Generally, I dont really share what Im thinking about future hopes and dreams, so here comes a bombshell. That is the job I want. International higher education fascinates me in a way not unlike a Sears lingerie catalogue fascinates a 12 year old male. I had a great talk with one of the women who works there with the current grad students, and I walked out of there really excited. Apparently she digs me too, a bit, which is always a good thing. We shall see where that leads.

Next stop was the Loose Goose, where I treated myself to The Eckel. Yes, for those of you familiar with the Loose Goose, I am not a jazz legend. However, I order the sandwich every time I go there, so its mine.

The recipe:
Foccacia Bread
Peppered Turkey
American Cheese
Bacon
Black Pepper
Lettuce
Creole Blue Cheese Mayonnaise

For those of you who have done cocaine, its kinda like that, except less deadly and more substantial. Hence, you might actually gain weight instead of losing it, but the taste makes it worth it. For those of you havent done cocaine, I recommend you just try the sandwich. Its cheaper, and less illegal. You wont regret it.

After the sandwich, it was time to get home and finish up some scholarship essays and forms and letters and such. For some reason, the Commonwealth College informed me via mail that I was nominated for this scholarship. Of course, this mail came roughly 5 days before the deadline. This made for a bit of a rush. I got it all done by 630ish, when we headed to dinner. It was Amherst Brewing Company time, and most of the Grayson 4th floor crew was able to make it. There were some exceptions, and they were missed, but a good time was had by all. I got a bison burger (they are a new addiction – healthier and perhaps tastier than beef). Of course, a few beers were consumed as well, as the ABC has some excellent home-made beers.

I was so pleased with my selections that I bought a growler or three to bring back for the low-key festivities. Thats a lot of good quality beer. Fortunately, it was enjoyed with good company while watching excellent television, i.e. these guys:

After that, the carnival of leisure continued. The entire evening had been spent doing nothing much, and I was loving it. The night ended with some Halo 2 with the gentlemen friends, Mister Blood and Mister Murphy.

Some of my friends, particularly the ladies, will decry this as completely lame, because it is a video game. To them, I say: “Screw off, it was my birthday, and if I wanted to spend it playing video games, then thats what im gonan do.”

That pretty much wound down the night. I spent a few hours just reading and getting sleep-ish, then hit the hay, knowing that when I woke up, it would all be over. And so it is. But life goes on, and tomorrow will no doubt hold something new and exciting. Good night for now.

Black Lager and Life

Samuel Adams Black Lager is an excellent choice for any occasion. Paired with the OC, its a rather unbeatable combination. Victory Golden Monkey is the next brew on tap. So, its pretty much officially spring break. I need to add one or two touches to my big paper, and then email it in. Easy enough. The most worrisome thing might be the drive home. Honda Accord, stay strong.

Reason Number 39 – She’s always confused about things.

I can’t wait for the week off. Its been a rather silly couple of weeks since we got back. The last few weeks of the semester are always my favorite anyhow, what with the shorts and the bonfires and the etc. The sun better start shining sooner rather than later. Alright, time to get back to the O.C. See you later children.

The weather outside is about to be frightful. …

The weather outside is about to be frightful.

So it sounds like 20-30 inches of snow are on the way. Wonderful. This should make move-in a real cock-up. People are making a big deal out of this storm too. Throwing pre-emptive salt on the driveways, stocking up at the supermarkets, etc. Fortunately, UMass plows are the best around, and I can live on microwaved ravioli and pretzels for the conceivable future,so Im not too worried.

What a weird week this has been. I came out early for training, but there’s really been nothing to do. Most days, I have been mainly done by 2 pm. Then I have to pass the time with noone around. It makes for a strange contrast.

Weird conversations too. I dont know what to do. I really dont. Maybe I’ll just do nothing. It doesnt seem like it should be this much work and worry.

So they didnt make out. The girls from the O.C., that is. But the episode closed with them sharing a blanket and watching a movie. If the director, McG, drags this out any longer, both of them will be too old to work in Hollywood (28). That’d be a shame.

I heard MMmbop on the radio yesterday. As I heard for the first time in years, I began to wonder. Is it possible that that song is the most misunderstood contribution to pop culture of our time?

I mean, it is clearly intended to be a sophisticated diatribe against the globalization of the market economy driven by greedy multi-national corporations that do not protect the rights of their minimum wage workers. Instead, it’s been turned into a bubble-gum pop song that gets ridiculed. Its really starting to irritate me. Hanson speaks out for global consciousness. Now some D-list celebrity or failed comedian gets to bash it on every VH1 show ever. How do the comedians get picked for that show, anyhow? Except for Rich Eisen, who always looks like he has come off an all-night bender, none of them is remotely funny. The standards for bashing pop culture have really sunk to their level? By the way, VH1, if you are reading this, I’m looking for some work.