I’m an Irish guy by way of South Boston (sorta kinda once upon a time). As such, this needs no explanation or justification; just enjoy it:
My theory on feds is that they’re like mushrooms; Feed ‘em shit and keep ‘em in the dark.You girls have a good day.
Oh, and if you haven’t seen the movie…
A. Stop being a complete lameass
B. Get thee to a Blockbuster or on Netlflix ASAP
C. Thank me for my recommendation
Have a good night ladies (and gentlemen).
I think that it’s often very easy, sometimes ludicrously so, to find it hard to identify with professional / high-level college athletes and coaches. They make inconceivably large amounts of money for being involved with a game. In the wake of the recent tragic death of Sean Taylor, I think we were all reminded that despite being able to run through a brick wall, athletes are as susceptible to misfortune and tragedy any of us. With that in the back of my mind, I saw on ESPN today that this week is being referred to as Jimmy V week. That might not mean much to many, but it reasonates deeply with me, and I wanted to share my own highly impersonal experience with Jim Valvano.
For those of you not in the know, Jimmy Valvano first became truly famous when the N.C. State men’s basketball team won the national championship on a somewhat fluky last-second play. However, I was all of one year old at the time of that game, so that’s certainly not why I rememember him. Instead, I remember first becoming aware of Jimmy V during the inaugural ESPY’s. As a young sports fan, it was essential that I watch ESPN’s award show for the best athletes, games, and plays of the year.
When Valvano came on, I wasn’t quite sure what was happening. He was introduced as a great coach and a great man, and a person who had been diagnosed with terminal cancer several months before. At the time, this didn’t have much of an impact on me – I was too young to conceptually understand cancer, and none of my family members or friends had yet been stricken with the disease. I remember seeing one man in the audience appear to be choked up,which signaled to me that something significant was happening. Then Valvano began speaking.
In this space, I have highlighted several speeches I found to be truly outstanding feats of oratory, such as General Eisenhower’s Order of the Day on D-Day. I am so enthralled with wonderful speeches and soliloquies I even have a tag named “Wise Words.” However, it is quite possible that no speech I have ever come across has affected me in the way this did:
That any person could be so brave, so noble, so eloquent, and so selfless is truly a testimony to the limitless potential of humanity. In such difficult times, it is often difficult to remember that we are all capable of such wonderful contributions to our fellow man. For now, I know I will again be making a donation to the V Foundation for Cancer Research. I hope that some of you will find some change in the sofa or an extra dollar or two in a spare pair of pants and do the same. The only truly fitting way to remember such a magnificent human being is to do our best to ensure that his legacy becomes intertwined with the eventual eradication of cancer – in donating, you can become part of that legacy, as well. Have a good night, folks.
Everyone, and I mean everyone, should read this article…and this article. They help to illuminate the crazy ideas of those troop-hating liberals and how they “believe” neocons/theocons/anycons are ruining the United States.
On a slightly lighter note – one of my favorite bloggers writes a magazine article about my favorite agent of truthiness? Obviously, it’s going to get linked to in this blog. Enjoy, folks.
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The Killers – Uncle Jonny
So, it’s been a couple of days – my apologies. It’s been a busy week with the new job and all the other good stuff that has been going on. I promise there will be a more comprehensive update coming soon, but for now, I point you towards this rather awesome blog post from Scott Adams, the creator of Dilbert. Turn your satire detectors on, and enjoy.
Elect someone who actually has a modicum of generalized intelligence? Now that’s crazy talk, Eugene, and perhaps even un-American! Smart people, of course, make their less intelligent peers jealous, and since the terrorists attack us solely because they are jealous of the U.S., we should continue to elect boneheaded, small-minded politicians, right? In fact, if we really want to remain free and safe, we should probably just elect her:
Sure, her oversight of NASA and other space exploration programs probably would be a failure, but that’s a small price to pay for ensuring our national security, right?
Click on the pretty image to read a fabulously awesome article from the masters of wit. Of course, it might be a satire site, but they are pretty right on – kind of like Stephen Colbert is more accurate than the people he mocks – what kind of country is it when the comedians are making the most sense?
Enough heavy thinking for now, just take a look at the article, it’s fantastic stuff, folks. Enjoy it, and enjoy your evening…
Today’s episode features Bill Simmons, aka the Sports Guy, discussing the film “Fever Pitch,” which, despite it prominently featuring the Red Sox, I feel will blow.
Bill
Simmons
THE SPORTS GUY
“So here’s my question: Why am I rooting so hard for a movie that prominently involves footage of Fenway Park, David Ortiz, the 2004 World Series celebration, the city of Boston and everything else to fail?
I narrowed it down to four reasons:
…
2. If you’re making a Red Sox movie, and you want Sox fans to like it, you cannot cast Jimmy Fallon. You just can’t. It’s bad enough that he admitted he doesn’t like sports, and that he’s had three favorite baseball teams over the course of his life — the Mets, Yankees and Red Sox. More important, it’s Jimmy Fallon! He’s your choice as a diehard Sox fan, a guy who always looks like he’s wearing makeup? Who was the runner-up for the role, the lead singer from Train? Think of it this way — imagine if Jimmy Fallon played either of the lead roles in ‘Good Will Hunting’? Would that have EVER happened? So why the hell is he in this movie? I always thought the casting of Timothy Hutton and Michael Rapaport in ‘Beautiful Girls’ was the least realistic casting of any Massachusetts character ever, but this one takes the cake. They could have hired 50 Cent to play the lead character and it would have been more realistic.”
Hahaha, well put, Sports Guy. The End.
This is quite simply the greatest response ever to the kids suggesting the Yankees and the Red Sox have a pregame handshake:
Boston.com / Sports / NESN / Eric Wilbur / No mercy for the messenger:
“Where was this handshake initiative in 1986 when I was attending Cherry Lane Elementary School in Suffern NY? Are you kidding me? Let me tell you and all the nice people of Acton something, getting a butt kicking can make you a stronger person. I grew up a Sox fan in Yankeeland. When I was in the 5th grade, the series of unfortunate events happened in 1986 and my brother and I tried our damndest to get our mom to call us in sick so we wouldn’t have to be subjected to the taunts.
But my mom, the wise and wonderful woman she is, sent us to school and told us to be a man and face the music.
Someone should tell these Acton twerps and their hippie teachers they should teach them about disappointment and responsibility. Because the truth is they are going to have to deal with those two things in their lives and should learn how to deal with and express their feelings accordingly. Hmm, let’s continue to coddle and spoil these children so when they get their first call from a creditor, they flip out and slits their wrist. Let’s continue to play nice so when they get turned down a job interview, the remain in front of our TV’s playing Xbox and mooching off their parents for the rest of their lives.
And it’s not all bad. I am sure you can imagine how good I felt when the Sox recorded that final out in Saint Louis last October. I thought about the my fifth grade teacher, every kid who made fun of us, all of the pushing and shoving. And you know what I did, I laughed. How horrible is laughing? I didn’t sit on a psychoanalysts couch and tell them how traumatic my childhood was because I wore the hat of another teams. I simply laughed and thought about how sweet victory is and how years later, things that happen to you at that age really aren’t that big a deal.
Maybe there would be less schoolyard brawls if the schools didn’t hop the kids up on sugar at lunch time, did they ever think of that?
Another classic example of the wimpification of America!”
Wise words, Mr. Wilbur.
So this was one shitty week. The girl I adore went to Paris on Monday. My car decided to be very sketchy Monday. My two fish died on Monday. And oh yeah, they tried to fire me. No names, no details. But there was bad stuff going on. And I spent all week thinking about it. I sat in class staring at the walls. I sat in my room staring at my walls. I sat in restaurants staring at the walls. You get the point. I couldnt get anything done this week, all because of silly nonsense that was foisted upon me.
So I went in Friday and defended myself. I told them what happened. I told them what didn’t happen. I told it like it was, and like how it should be. And my judge, jury, and executioner, to my relief, was very reasonable. She didn’t rush to judgement. She didn’t jump to conclusions. She examined it all, and declared me a free man. What a moment. Vindication, people, vindication.
So now thats done and over with. Everyones gone home for the weekend, and the last two days have been very loooooong and very boring. Its been me, my computer, my homework, and whatever movie is playing on HBO. Not exactly quality time. I cant wait for people to get back so theres some semblance of life on this campus. But on the flip side, there is more tentative good news besides the job thing. My car seems to be a little less temperamental. I am making money now, so Europe is back on. I got word of an interesting summer job oppurtunity from my supposed judge, jury, and executioner and am investigating it. And Stef Trouville, my ex-girlfriend and current best friend, got me a fish that in essence has replaced the two old fish. She seems to be doing fine. My life is back on track. So stop worrying people. Just float on.
The Patriots have just won their third Super Bowl in 4 years, beating a very worthy Philadelphia Eagles team 24-21. I’m not sure what to really say about it. New England has become so accustomed to winning that its a bit scary. We have started to just enjoy the expected.
With that in mind, the talk turns to whether or not this is a dynasty. Considering the parity-creating intentions of the salary cap and the spectre of free agency, the fact that the Patriots have sustained such excellence makes them an automatic contender in the most impressive team of all time discussion. But dont take my word for it. Read instead the words of Pete Prisco, one of the all-time great Patriot haters. Shortly after the game was over, he wrote:
“Bob Kraft, hand out the cigars.
A dynasty was born Sunday night. Your team is it, which should make you one happy Papa and one happy owner.
Over the course of two years, the Pats have now won 34 of their 38 games and made the word team a part of our vocabulary again.
Belichick moved past Vince Lombardi as the coach with the highest winning percentage in the postseason, moving to 10-1, slightly bettering Lombardi’s 9-1 record.
Maybe they should re-name the trophy given out to the Super winner the Belichick Trophy.
Once again the Patriots were pushed by their Super opponent, but as usual they seemed to have the answer for every drive, every score.
That’s what makes this team so great. They never lose focus, they never lose sight of what stares them in the face.
Now if we can only get them to say the word dynasty.
They won’t. So we will.
This is a dynasty — with a capital D.”
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